false-denouement:

One night, my bestfriend went for walk
because her thoughts were drowning her,
said she couldn’t think.

She went to a pool so she could swim,
and there, she screamed underwater.

Suffocating the spirits in her memories,
she gasps for the mere glory of the heavens,
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you.”

Curses were thrown into the water like punches and blows
from a very, very angry girl,
she stayed there for an hour, crippling her skin
until she could think again.

Then one morning, my best friend went for a run
because life shattered her around and thought she’s going crazy,
said she could use some escape for a while.

She went to the bathroom instead,
there, she whispered under the steam.

Echoes of slaying the demons in her head,
she sliced, cut, and scratched
until the water turned red.

And as her skin was left with nothing but an undertone of pallid,
she went underwater again,
until someone went in,
took her out
and grieved.

 -

(Collab with my best friend Ella (stardustinmybones), our first one.)

When you’re crying,

because you feel so hollow
that you might sink.

When you’re crying,
because you’re so damn happy
so you hold your tongue out
to taste it.

When you’re crying,
because you remember that one time
and you get shocked by nostalgia
that you feel the electricity
running in your fingertips.

When you’re crying,
because you’re watching a movie
or listening to a song
and it reaches you
touches you
so you hold hands together.

When you’re crying,
because you lost something
and you still search for it in the dark.

And when you’re crying,
but there’s no tears at all
because it left you
and you’re numb.

when i was five years old,

i promised to give my best friend her doll back

after i was done, and I didn’t really break it,

but i did break it, because i was never done.

.

when i was ten years old,

i promised to never forget where I came from,

the roots that burned from the inside out.

i broke it the very next day,

when i ran away, but cried,

because i could not find my house again.

.

when i was thirteen years old,

i promised my mom i would always tell her where I was,

i told her i would always keep myself safe,

but i broke it the next week,

when i snuck out to kiss the boy i thought i would marry

one day.

.

when i was fifteen

and told you i will always be there.

.

the fact is, you break more than promises.

.

.

Collab with the amazing Jackie. She made most of this, because she’s amazing. *snuggles*

You know what’s frustrating?

It’s when you’ve been trying for so long and when you think it’s finally coming together, it falls apart.

And the hope and strength that you’ve built starts crumbling and you have to start all over again.

Yeah, that’s frustrating.

I open a world of words in my hands

like an empire of thoughts.

I love entering those castles

where I can watch as the princess

get saved by the prince.

I love getting lost in the maze of twists and turns,

and I love carrying my emotions like a traveler

with a backpack of plots and pages.

I love how I feel like I’ve been on space,

with an entirety of possibilities

in an amazing journey that’s right on my hands.

And when I reach that last page the end of the story,

I close a journey that will always be within me.

And then, you just snap.
Like a bone broke and you are wrong and disconnected,